Also Known As

I’ve always been a game chick. I didn’t own a console until Nintendo 64 but I’d go over to my friends house and play their games. Yup even stupid pong. One of my all time favorites was of course Mortal Kombat. Yeah I know you thought I was gonna say something like Mario or Zelda. Sure I liked those too and still do but there is something about beating someone to a bloody plup that is weirdly satisfying. Out of all the Mortal Kombat characters my secert favorite was Scorpion. Sure they all had their cool moves but Scorpion could throw a spear at a dude’s chest and drag him across the field to kick his ass. Now THAT’S hotness right there!

Now when I play MMOs I’ve tended to be more of the caster type. I am after all still a chick and heck even I succumb to the “ooh look shiney”. After all casters tend to have some of the hotest visual abilities. In Lineage 2 I was a Dark Elf Spellhowler, cause well Dark Elves where hot. In CoH I played a fire/fire blaster. What’s not to love about throwing fireballs at somebodies head. It wasn’t until Guild Wars introduced the Assassian that I once again fell in love with the melee. Stepping into the shadows and slicing your enemy to pieces before they even get a chance to blink. It was awesome and the greatest thing about GW was I could chose a secondary profession and I picked one of my favorites at the time a Mesmer. I could corrupt the minds of my enemy and still kick ass up close and personal. Alas that was short lived as I soon found out like many Assassians were cool but a bit on the weak side.

Two years ago I settled into World of Warcraft and originally played a class that I also enjoyed in GW. The ranger aka Hunter class. Since my friends were all alliance at the time I settled on the basic and extermly common Night Elf hunter. I was naive please don’t judge me. When Burning Crusade came out I got my copy the very 1st day and of course went of atheistic and picked a Blood Elf, okay not a blood elf I made damn near 5 of them. And if you’ve been following at all its always been hard for me to choose a “main”. This time its different…this time its special…this time I’m kicking ass and taking no prisoners. I have decided to make Ilianah my main. I have had more fun these past few days than I have in a long time. I do enjoy playing a warlock and a rogue. They are really fun classes to play. However there are some really great things about Death Knights. One of those being…DEATH GRIP!!!! See I’m getting back to the point of the story, you know Scorpion and the spear “get over here” thing. Last night after leaving an instance with my friends we saw a flagged Alliance player all by his lonesome. “GET HIM” we yelled. Then the most amazing thing happened. Well the funniest thing. My friend Death Gripped his ass while he tried to run away on his horse and we layed the smack down on him. You see some dude flying across your screen on his horse to get his ass whopped and you too will feel my joy! Now there is just one thing I have to do….

I need to que up for AV, find a Night Elf hunter, death grip his ass and beat the ever lovin snot outta him!

The really should have named it Wrath of the Death Knights. Every where I turn there goes another one. We are like the plague or something. Despite the fact that Hellfire once again is the new Barrens, having to wait in line for mob spawn, and leveling my professions I’m having a lot of fun with my new Death Knight. And that brings me to the topic of this post. Yet again I’m faced with an alt becoming a main. Alyannia, my warlock, was an alt who over took my main in levels and was the 1st and only of my characters to reach level 70. Now I’m having so much fun on Ilianah I’m contemplating doing it again. Decisions…decisions…oh look there goes another one.

We as a nation have come a long way in the past few days. On Tuesday I saw something that I never expected to see in my life time. I saw an African American get elected to the highest position in the land. I saw a man whose heritage is similar to mine walk out amongst a crowd of thousands and move them. I saw history. In my mind I thought back to the footage of Martin Luther King’s speech right before he was taken from this world, “I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land.”

But are we really there? Personally, though Barack Obama will take office as the 44th President of this United States, I don’t think so. I have hope, yes but a true belief that racism in this country is officially at an end I do not. I say this on a very personal level as I still have to deal with this today. And by today I don’t mean in the metaphorical sense I mean that on the real I wake up and I -deal- with this. I say this because instead of open in your face racism I have to deal with the Archie Bunker’s of the world. The people who do not realize nor do they care that the things they say are offensive. These people scare me more than any member of the some hate group. Why? Because their hate is so inbreed into their psyche they can’t see how vile it is. They will smile in my face, shake my hand, call me their “black friend”, but behind closed doors and in whispered tones make comments that make me cringe in utter disbelief.

Yet this is not the only reason I believe we have a long way to go. We, African Americans, as a people have a long way to go. It is no secret that I loath main stream media’s portrayal of African Americans in this country. I do not like commercial hip hop and that “coon” “shuck and jive” crap comedy that is blasted across the airwaves. There is a very fine line between joking and being offensive that we all far to often like to cross over. When that line is crossed by someone not of our race we go into upheaval and demand boycotts and marches. Which was all made very clear during the Don Imus fiasco. Uproar was heard when he said the N word. It was blasphemy and disgusting. Yet at that moment I’m pretty sure there was some African American teen uttering the same word to his or her friends. We held on to the idiotic notion that because we had “claimed” the word and taken ownership of it there for it was ok for us to use but not him and this justified our anger.

I say all of this because its time for us to stop beating around the bush and face the cold hard facts. We have come together but for how long. And when will we as African Americans stop turning our history and heritage into a joke and stop degrading ourselves. We are definitely not were we were when Martin Luther King made that historic speech but we surely are not at the mountain top either.

Did I expect to see this day. There are just no words. I am in awe. I can now tell my daughter anything and everything you want is possible with hard work and determination and know in my heart that is true.

After spending the entire weekend with my mother I realized something which is very satisfying. I am not like my mother. I had spent the better part of my early adulthood traumatized by the fact that I was becoming just like my mother. I fought it tooth and nail and it does look as if I have in fact succeeded in not being like her. Now don’t get me wrong my mother is an amazing person and a wonderful woman. Though we’ve had our differences in the past I have learned I am lucky to have the mother I have. She has taught me strength and determination. She has taught me to be a strong black woman in a world dominated by stereotypes and racial inequality, and yes its 2008 and despite the fact that there is a black man running for president there are still times where I am faced with racial inequality but that’s a post of another day. However despite all this I am lucky that I am not my mother because you see my mother firmly believes you can only be happy if you have a man.

As we sat watching of all things a kind of remake to Guess whose coming to dinner, we had the following conversation when Ashton’s character told his girlfriends father why he loved his daughter and wanted to be with her.

“See that’s why I’m single because I don’t have that.”

“No you are single because you want to be single. You don’t even try.”

“Yes I want to be single, nothing wrong with that.”

“You aren’t happy, you don’t call me and say that you are happy.”

“When have I –ever- called you and said I was happy. That will never happen because I’m just not that type of person but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy mom. I am happy,”

It was at this point I realized that she honestly believes you need a man to be happy. I am single. I choose to be single. I have dated, given my heart, heck I even got married but now I live my life single. My last relationship exploded in my face all the while I was still happy. Shhh…I know my blog was full of depressing crap for a while there but overall I was happy just sad that another relationship had tanked. I am happy and I don’t say this over and over again to make myself believe it. I know that I am because I know what its like not to be. Sure I am stressed out, sure I wish I had another job, and sure I even wish that I could find someone to share my life with but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy it just means I’m human.

Having or not having a man does not define my happiness. It shouldn’t define any woman’s happiness. I create that happiness for myself. I should be happy on my own with my own self. If I can’t make me happy then really how am I going to make anyone else happy when the time comes?

No I’m not admitting that I’m a man. My good friend Bone Mosten has a blog. Read it. I command the! That is all.

Yeah sorry for the lack of posts and all that…busy!!!!!

I’m done with this sad woah is me the world is againist me my heart will never love again bullshit I’ve been on the past few weeks. So my job sucks, it sucked last year and the year before that. I’m working on getting a new one and positive thoughts will prevail. So the move isn’t all that I had hoped for. The new job that I will eventually get should help with that but for right now its the choice I made and in the long run its better for my daughter. So I broke up with my boyfriend. That is nothing new and it seems I’m just destined to keep searching. So my ex is an ass. Nothing new there, he’s just taken is assoisty to a whole new level. Oh wells. This is life and what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

I am blessed. I have amazing friends. A wonderful, if sometimes rambunctious, daughter. The worlds greatest mom. I’m doing ok.